Thursday, April 10, 2014

Finn, The Sweet Boy

"But Finn is such a sweet boy."  I don't know how many times I have heard that one.  It's true.  Finn is the sweetest boy I know.  He loves other kids and tries so hard to socialize with them.  He freely gives kisses and hugs and is quick to hold hands with just about any one.  Sweet, indeed.  There is something endearing about his innocence and the pure joy he has when doing simple things.  But I'm over the phrase.

We're in the process of developmental and IQ testing.  We need to figure out where to place him for Kindergarten and we are trying to get him additional resources such as more therapy and specialized learning tools.

And for a moment, I will digress and talk about what I believe is an ineffective way to give an evaluation or test...
The IQ testing was a disaster.  We paid a hefty amount to have a neuro psychologist perform the testing.  By the time the appointment came around, Finn was in really bad shape.  He was having partial complex seizures that were impacting his daily life and the medication was not yet controlling them. During the testing, Finn threw up and was obviously not feeling well.  Yet, the neuro psychologist wanted to keep going on.  Looking back, I should have just stopped the test.

In addition to the seizures and Finn being ill, the neuro psychologist had him sitting in an uncomfortable chair on my lap for the testing.  I couldn't get over it.  Furthermore, she didn't take any time to get to know him before she started the testing.  Anyone reading this that gives evaluations, please think about the individual you are giving the test to.  Why on earth would it be a good idea to have him take the test sitting on my lap on an adult chair and doing it across a large desk where you have plenty of distractions (pencils, paper, computer, etc).  Again, I should have put a stop to it

Now back to my point...

So, we got his IQ result and yes, low, as we expected, "but he is so sweet."  The neuro psych advised us we should start looking into adult living facilities for him even though he is only 5.  You need to start planning for his future.  Why didn't she just literally slap me in the face; it may have stung less.

Finn's school and private therapists are also doing evaluations.  All of them coming back below the 5th percentile.  We get the same response every time, "the scores came in at ___ percentile, but he is so sweet." 

I'm trying to take each of these with a grain of salt.  I'm doing my best to hold it together.  I want the best for my child just like any decent parent.  I keep holding on to this dream that I will be able to fix his problems...but what if I can't?

And then I consider the obvious...Finn is sweet.  He has a light that shines from within that not everyone has.  Everything Finn does is for the pure joy of doing it.  He loves unconditionally.  What matters is that Finn is an amazing person and I am lucky enough to be his mom.  I will take sweet any day.

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